So that Dappy vagabond has released another assault upon the world's ears... I swear if we let him keep this up Jesus Hernandez Christ is gonna kick off in a big way. If I got crucified to give the world another chance and then they let Dappy happen I'd go OJ Simpson on everyone's ass, and by OJ I mean I'd cut Fazer's head off and get away with it....
However, I'm so appalled by the real issue here that I'm ignoring it like a retard in a Turkish orphanage. Brian May used to be the guitarist in one of the best bands ever, Queen. I accept that Queen aren't to everyone's taste, but they were one of those bands that were undeniably good, hell they were so good the great Vanilla Ice sampled them! As a rock legend good old Brian is therefore allowed a bit of leeway in how he lives the rest of his life. He can keep the curly muff on his head, rock stars have crazy hair. He can do a degree in astrophysics, all rock stars have an eccentric passion (I'm looking at you Alex James). But what he can't do is be involved with the musical equivalent of Titus Bramble. I'm afraid that the Bry Guy shouldn't have made it this far. Like the legends of past and present, John Belushi, John Bonham, Kurt Cobain (No, not you Winehouse) he should have gone out in blaze of alcohol and drug induced glory, stoned off his face with a hooker on each arm... essentially what Charlie Sheen is building himself up to, and God Bless him for it! If he had then he could avoided this slow decline into bumbling has been, leading to the ultimate nadir, performing with Dappy. But all this said and done, if I ever see Brian May I will be buying him a pint... and putting a tiny drop of Tiger Blood in it, just hoping to ignite that blaze...
So in the news this week some Cardinal who I will name and shame, Keith O'Brien, has been attacking the idea of same sex marriage. I have to say I that there are much bigger problems in this world than 2 people of the same sex getting hitched. Such as the Catholic church, which is an institution that has a three strikes and your out rule for child molestation. That's right, the Catholic church actually sat down and said, "You know what, maybe they just made a mistake, we don't want to be too hasty... lets give them three chances to explain away touching children". That's the craziest thing I have heard since John Prescott had an affair, who'd have thought one woman would sleep with him, let alone two. I wouldn't normally wade in on such a serious issue but I live with a gay chap, James Green his name his, and a lovely fella he is too. He cleans more than his fair share of the house, always turns lights off and doesn't mind when I turn into an angry drunk. I've got to say, out of everyone I know he is the least likely one to burn in hell. So, just for Jimbo, I'm saying you're A-ok to marry a gay (Did you like the rhyme?). I also have my own reasons for wanting men to be able to marry other men... less competition for the ladies, I need all the help I can get.
You're cautionary tale doesn't come from my own experience, but that of Ryan Jarmin of Cribs fame. If you are lucky enough to be allowed to collect an award at the NME awards on behalf of Franz Ferdinand, do not jump onto the Kaiser Chiefs table, as it may cause glass to pierce your back and require you to be taken to hospital. And if you get taken to hospital do not then discharge yourself and got to the NME after party as you may pass out in a back corridor and nearly bleed to death. Jarmin was saved by a beardy, Kiwi DJ, but you might not be... you know the old adage, Zane doesn't strike twice.
Fun and Provocative, classic Bloodhound Gang
I hope I never bump into this hard bastard!
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